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He's the fastest man on Earth ... but how would Usain Bolt do in space!??

You're about to find out ...

The Olympic legend boarded a special Airbus Zero G plane, which simulates what it's like to be in zero gravity ... and challenged 2 of his fellow passengers to a foot race.

The challengers? French astronaut Jean-Francois Clervoy (in the blue flight suit) and CEO of Novespace and French Interior designer Octave de Gaulle (in the black).

The guys definitely gave Bolt a run for his money in the first leg of the race, but Usain turned up the heat and crushed 'em when it counted.

And, how'd he celebrate? Usain didn't bust out his signature "Bolt" gesture -- instead, he popped some fancy Mumm Grand Cordon Stellar (fun fact: de Gaulle designed the fancy bottle).

The bottle was reportedly designed for use by future space tourists -- apparently, it's easier to chug from this bottle in zero gravity.

So, if you save up ... a lot ... you can (maybe) test it out one day.

Good luck.

Norm Macdonald is succeeding in making things worse for himself -- fresh off attacking the #MeToo movement, he cracked a joke, of sorts, about Down syndrome.

The comedian was on "The Howard Stern Show" Wednesday talking about the backlash he got for his stance on Louis C.K., Roseanne and #MeToo. He attempted to walk back his comments by saying ... "You'd have to have Down syndrome to not feel sorry" for victims of harassment.

He doubled down by saying Down syndrome is "my new word."

Norm also told Howard he hates doing interviews -- especially in print -- because he has to answer questions he doesn't want to. He then added ... "I'm a f**king dumb guy."

As we reported ... Norm told The Hollywood Reporter he's glad the #MeToo movement has "slowed down," and expressed sympathy for C.K. and Roseanne because their careers have been ruined by their scandals. He later issued an apology, saying ... "If my words sounded like I was minimizing the pain that their victims feel to this day, I am deeply sorry."

1:35 PM PT -- Apple's new watch is ruffling some feathers. The folks at Life Alert reached out to inform us they trademarked the famous phrase, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up" ... which was our original headline. They weren't too happy because they feel like our post promotes a competitor's "similar feature" ... a violation of their trademark.

The seniors falling biz is serious stuff, y'all.

Apple's latest game-changing tech is essentially a Life Alert-like bracelet with a built-in heart monitoring system too -- all packed into a new watch.

Apple's COO Jeff Williams introduced a number of new features Wednesday for the company's Apple Watch Series 4, but none more fascinating than its new fall detection and electrocardiogram technology ... which could potentially save lives.

Williams says the new watch can detect when you've taken a hard fall, and automatically call emergency services if you don't respond to the alert. It'll also reach out to your emergency contacts.

Not just that ... but the watch's new ECG feature measures heart rate and will let you know if anything is irregular or potentially dangerous. Kinda like having an ER on your wrist. Apple says the FDA's signed off on all this new tech.

The watch's new capabilities certainly seem aimed at a new demographic that perhaps might've escaped Apple's clutches before ... senior citizens. The Series 4 watch will start at $399, and go up from there depending on the model.

Of course, Apple also unveiled 3 new iPhones -- the XR, XS and XS MAX. The XR's Apple's newly discounted iPhone that starts at $749. It comes in 6 colors including white, black, blue, yellow and red.

But, the bells and whistles are really with the XS and the bigger XS MAX, which comes with a 6.5-inch screen ... making it the biggest screen ever on an iPhone. It's also the priciest starting at $1,099. The XS starts at $999.

New camera features let you blur the background in photos AFTER snapping pics. There was also a cool moment during the event when newly-minted NBA Hall of Famer Steve Nash hit the stage to pimp an app he's been working on -- Homecourt. The app -- with help from the camera -- tracks real-time shot science that measures release speed, time, speed and height among other cool things.

Rev. Jesse Jackson has a message for all the Colin Kaepernick haters -- Tim Tebow took a knee too ... and nobody had a problem with that!

We got Jesse leaving Reagan International Airport this week when he used the ex-Heisman Trophy winner to explain what he believes is the hypocrisy surrounding the outrage directed at Kaepernick.

"It's interesting that when Tim Tebow took a knee, it was accepted," Jesse tells TMZ Sports.

"Kaepernick takes a knee and he's rejected. Both of them took a knee in protest of what they believed in. One was religion. One was for justice. Okay."

Remember ... Tim used to take knees prior to every game -- albeit not DURING the national anthem -- and it was so widely praised, a social media meme came of it.

The guy who robbed Marc Anthony blind for years just got slapped with a sentence that'll put him behind bars for at least a couple of years ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that Kyle Tessiero was sentenced to prison Wednesday in New York after pleading guilty back in June to first degree grand larceny. The judge gave him 2 to 6 years in a state prison. We're told prosecutors were pushing for 3 to 9.

Tessiero was also ordered to pay back $9.1 million to Marc. It's unclear if Anthony will file a civil suit to force Tessiero to pay up.

The Colin Kaepernick haters will have to address him as a Hall of Famer now ... 'cause the ex-NFL superstar is going into his old high school's HOF in November!!

Pitman High School -- the Turlock, Calif. program Colin beasted for in football, basketball and baseball -- announced it's giving Kaep its highest honor on Nov. 3.

“Colin was chosen, like all the others, for their contribution to the history of athletes here at Pitman,” the school's A.D., Dave Wells, tells KCRA.

“Of course, he was an outstanding athlete and a three-sport star.”

It's sure to ruffle some feathers -- given anything involving Kaep since he knelt during the national anthem does -- but a former Turlock mayor says none of that minimizes what he did for the H.S.

"Colin Kaepernick still has much respect,” says John Lazar, who also once gave Kaep a key to the city of Turlock.

“Although citizens differ on his approach, he is still a proud son of Turlock.”

FYI ... Colin led his high school to its first-ever playoff win as a senior -- AND was nominated as an All-State player in hoops, football and baseball that same year.

Check out some of his high school highlights -- dude was HUGE!!

There are no limits to the lengths men will go to have sex … an English man born without a penis lost his virginity at 45 after doctors created a bionic one!!!

Andrew Wardle finally lost his v-card with gf Fedra Fabian after getting his new member … and he had to endure a 10-hour procedure and a 10-day erection before making his first trip to pound town … worth it though!

Doctors constructed the bionic member using skin from Andrew’s arm and nerves from his legs … and he says it’s even BIGGER than he expected.

Andrew was born without a phallus -- a one-in-20 MILLION birth abnormality -- and it wasn't until his 30s he discovered docs might be able to fashion him a schlong with a procedure dubbed a phalloplasty.

Andrew had the 10-hour procedure in June, then spent 10 days with a painful hard-on and was forced to wait another 6 weeks before getting down with his chick.

4:47 PM PT -- Cavill just posted an odd video with a Superman action figure ... but still no clear answer as to whether or not he'll wear the cape.

When ya look up in the sky ... it might be a bird, might be a plane, but it damn sure won't be Henry Cavill -- he's leaving the role of Superman.

Henry was in negotiations with Warner Bros. to put on the blue tights and red cape for a cameo in its upcoming "Shazam!" movie, but talks broke down and both sides walked away ... according to The Hollywood Reporter.

HC bolting leaves a couple of HUGE holes in the DC cinematic universe, since Ben Affleck already ditched the Batman suit.

Cavill played the Man of Steel 3 times and had been expected to do it again for a solo Superman flick and a 'Justice League' sequel. While the Kal-El role is over and done for Henry ... we hear it's not a bitter split, and the door is still open for him to work with Warner Bros. in the future.

Word is Warner Bros is in the market for a couple of young guns to fill Aflleck and Cavill's rubber boots. The only good news is they've still got Gal Gadot, Jason Momoa and Ezra Miller on board as Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Flash.

Nicki Minaj can dodge a shoe, host a weekly radio show and get millions of views on her music videos ... but when it comes to honoring a pledge to help a struggling actor -- so far, nothing.

Last week on her 'Queen Radio' show, Minaj said she was sending Geoffrey Owens -- the 'Cosby Show' star who took a gig at Trader Joe's and was shamed for it -- $25,000 to help him out.

Sources familiar with the situation tell us Minaj and her team have yet to even contact Geoffrey or his people, much less hand over the cash.

Here's the thing ... we're told Owens is not looking for a handout, and if Nicki does end up making good on her pledge he'll likely donate the loot to his favorite charities.

On Monday's episode of 'Queen Radio,' Nicki discussed her pledge ... saying she was having a tough time getting in touch with Owens' team -- but our sources say Geoffrey's team hasn't heard a peep, and are easily reachable.

$25,000 or not -- Owens has had a ton of success since the Trader Joe's pic hit -- joining Tyler Perry's "The Haves and the Have Nots" for 10 episodes and landing a gig on "NCIS: New Orleans."

We're NOT racist, you're too sensitive -- that's how an Australian newspaper is handling criticism of their Serena Williams cartoon ... and now they've REPRINTED IT on their cover.

The Herald Sun ran the headline, "Welcome To PC World" -- along with the caption, "If the self-appointed censors of Mark Knight get their way on his Serena Williams cartoon, our new politically correct life will be very dull indeed."

Along with reprinting Serena, the paper added other "controversial" cartoons from the artist including a chubby Kim Jong-un and a villainous Donald Trump.

Under the Serena cartoon, they noted the public "vetoed" the image due to "large hair and lips, too angry."

They mockingly noted the paper would now be a "Satire Free Zone."

What the paper is failing to acknowledge is how racists used cartoons featuring exaggerated lips, hair, noses and other features to mock and dehumanize black people for centuries.

That exact point was raised by hundreds of critics on social media -- but the newspaper is refusing to back down.

In fact, the artist tried to defend his work, saying, "The world’s gone crazy. It’s a cartoon about poor behavior. It’s nothing to do with race."

He added, "I’m sorry it’s been taken by social media and distorted so much. I’ve tried to reply to these people but they don’t listen."

Madonna's daughter got RIPPED at NY Fashion Week ... her denim, not her performance.

Lourdes Leon made her runway debut with this getup Tuesday at the Gypsy Sport show. Lots to unpack here so let's start from the top -- that green thing you see is a palm leafy feathered hairpiece. The other accessory is a pair of some tiny sunglasses.

The top is a beaded seashell chain followed with some excessively ripped jeans. Rounding out the outfit ... some bulky dad kicks. The 21-year-old's dabbled in modeling before with several ad campaigns but this is the first time we see her stroll down fashion lane.

Neil deGrasse Tyson sees nothin' wrong with a little puff and smoke emitting from Elon Musk, 'cause he says the guy is this generation's Thomas Edison.

America's favorite astrophysicist was signing autographs Tuesday in NYC after his appearance on Stephen Colbert's 'Late Show,' when our photog asked his thoughts on all the flak Elon's catching after toking up on Joe Rogan's podcast last week.

Neil cut our guy off and let it be known where he stands ... LEAVE THE CAT ALONE! Of course, he prefaces his answer by saying Elon needs to follow SEC regulations -- ya know, since Tesla's a publicly traded company and all -- but, aside from that ... let the genius burn a bit.

Elon gets some high praise from Neil here, calling him the "best game in town" and the best thing we've had since Tommy E in the 1800s. Rather than criticize, Neil thinks folks should embrace what Elon can do for the country (and the world) ... bud or no bud.

"Astroworld" was just the start ... Travis Scott's now looking to take his brand to another world, like a true space cadet.

The rapper recently filed paperwork to acquire the rights to "S.P.A.C.E" ... and it looks like he wants to plaster that term all over a wide variety of merchandise.

According to the docs, obtained by TMZ, Travis has earthly plans to produce "S.P.A.C.E" branded clothing, jewelry, cosmetics, fragrances, non-alcoholic beverages and an online retail store to sell it all.

Scott also filed docs to lock down "S.P.A.C.E 1991" and "S.P.A.C.E 2001." What's not clear in the docs is what the hell it stands for, if anything. It's possible he's just a Stanley Kubrick fan.

One of the most famous "Big Brother" contestants says the show is rock solid ... despite rumors longtime host, Julie Chen, might be leaving Big Brother with Les Moonves now gone.

Dan Gheesling -- who won season 10 and was the runner-up on season 14 of "Big Brother" -- says if Julie steps away from her hosting role on CBS' hit reality series, whoever replaces her will have some massive shoes to fill. Her 18-year run has been that iconic.

So far, Julie has not given even a hint that she'll leave the show. In fact, she made it clear ... she'll be hosting Thursday night's episode.

The real question ... will "Big Brother" go on the chopping block now that Moonves is gone? Sharon Osbourne said this week on "The Talk" nobody's job is safe now ... nor are any of the CBS shows in the wake of Moonves' departure.

Ultimately it comes down to ratings. Although Dan says the show is a juggernaut ... the ratings are down this season from last, although the all-important demos are still strong.

Awwww, the widdle U.S. Open judge has hurt feewings??

SUCK IT UP, PAL, YOU DON'T DOCK SERENA WILLIAMS A FULL GAME PENALTY!!

At least, that's how Common feels about the drama involving his ex-girlfriend -- telling TMZ Sports the judge shouldn't be so damn sensitive when a passionate player blows up on him.

Remember, Carlos Ramos was so offended when Serena called him a "thief" during a heated moment in the U.S. Open final, he punished her by penalizing her 1 full game.

"You gotta rise above it as a referee," Common said ... "She was having a time at that moment, she should be allowed that space. She's a passionate athlete."

Common also explained, "I think the referee should have gave her some leeway. You could see she was having an emotional time and because she is that great and what she means to the sport, you don't want to see the match end because or things get swayed one way because of a referee."

"You should let the athletes play it out."

Vanilla Ice doesn't live with his estranged wife anymore, but she claims he should still pony up for desperately needed home repairs ... 'cause the HOA is breathing down her neck!!!

VI and Laura Van Winkle are in the middle of a divorce ... and she's asking the court to make Ice open his wallet and pay for repairs on the home they share in Florida -- according to legal docs obtained by TMZ.

Laura lives in the home with their daughter, and she says the HOA is PISSED they have a dirty or mildewed roof and no fence around their pool. The horror!!!