Dikembe Mutombo: Tell Me How My A** Tastes

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When the guy in front of you is 7'2", escalators can quickly become awkward.

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Cops vs. Connors -- No Love

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Former tennis star, Jimmy Connors was arrested Friday night at the UC Santa Barbara Thunderdome.

A UCSB campus police rep tells us that Connors was arrested and taken into custody after refusing to leave the area after he was asked by police following a confrontation. The incident occurred at the front entrance during the beginning of a basketball game. Connors was later booked and released.

Connors was well known for his temper tantrums on the court during the 70s. A rep for Connors could not be reached for comment.

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Bret "The Hitman" Had His Hart Ripped Out

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Bret "The Hitman" Hart used to say he was "The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be" -- but yesterday in DC, it was clear someone's come to a sad realization since his days in the WWF.

This may be some of the most depressing video we've ever shot.

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Will Smith and Romo -- High School Cheerleaders

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The Fresh Prince and the Dallas Cowboys starting QB crashed a pep rally in Texas yesterday because ... well, because they felt like it.

Will, who was rollin' through town to promote a movie, hooked up with Romo to fire up the kids at Lake Highlands High in a surprise visit -- droppin' some serious motivational talk and some insight into Romo's injured hand.

Sucks for the punks who ditched.

Brady -- The Knee's Gimpy, Tongue's Just Fine

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For a guy who HATES putting his personal life in the public eye, Tom Brady was especially touchy-feely-suckey-facey with Gisele last night.

FOX25 in Boston caught the two gettin' all lovey-dovey during a double date with fellow Patriot Larry Izzo at "The Butcher Shop" restaurant in Boston.

No word if Tom had dessert there ... or at home.

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More Wrestlers Put a Herpin' on Each Other

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Another major herpes outbreak -- and once again the herps perps are accused of being wrestlers.

Almost one year after a herpes outbreak brought high school wrestling in Minnesota to a stand-still, three new wrestlers from York College have filed a lawsuit, claiming they got the herp and all the fixins after grappling with an infected teammate.

Symptoms were -- but were not limited to -- a "thick crust of dried puss [sic]," itching, swollen lymph glands and ... embarrassing talks with the GF.

The boys are suing their coach and trainer, who told 'em not to worry about the fact their herped-up teammate was coming back to practice after three days, rather than five, as the NCAA stipulates.

The suit also points out herpes simplex 1 is often referred to as "Herpes Gladiatorum" -- Latin for sweaty boys all over each other.

They want $50K from the school.

Magic Johnson Accused of Ignoring Health Issue?!

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Magic Johnson is in the middle of a serious health care war -- but shockingly, it's the basketball legend (of all people!) who's being accused of skimping on coverage for people who work in a building he owns.

A guy who works in the Brooklyn Clock Tower -- a building that Magic's investment company is turning into luxury condominium -- confronted Johnson at a book signing over the weekend, arguing how it's unfair for his fellow non-union workers to have to shell out an extra $300 per family member for health coverage.

A rep for Magic's company told Crain's New York the 12 non-union workers ARE paid the union rate of $18.94 for porters and concierges and $20.19 for handymen ... and any decision on expanding coverage is up to the condominium association and the building's managing agent.

Another Magic rep told TMZ every employee who works for the management company gets free health care.

Tom Brady -- No Crutches, No Problem

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Barely using the rail for assistance, Tom Brady looked pretty stable last night as he tackled the stairs outside his NYC pad -- six weeks to the day after he had surgery on his left knee.

If he can walk, he can probably carry Gisele's dry cleaning.

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OJ's 21st Bday -- Hold the Mayo!

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NBA rookie millionaire OJ Mayo turned 21 last Monday -- but some people in AZ want their bread back after they say OJ stiffed 'em by not showing up to his own super-hyped birthday party.

Multiple sources in Tempe, Ariz. tell TMZ Mayo took more than a grand from local promoters, promising he'd show up at the Cherry Lounge after his game on Monday. Around 1:00 AM, Mayo's manager told people at the club OJ was in bed and wouldn't be coming out.

Best part: We're told two of Mayo's boys wanted free bottle service at the club after OJ bailed, and got tossed out on their asses.

The club put out 50,000 fliers around Tempe and aggressively pimped the b-day party out on radio stations -- to no avail.

A rep for his team, the Memphis Grizzlies, says the whole thing is a lil' fishy, because OJ was on the team plane back to Memphis ... right after the game.

Roddy on Daughter -- Piper? You Hardly Know Her

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Last night our photog was angling hardcore to get rowdy with Roddy Piper's daughter, Ariel -- but hitting on a chick in front of her dad, who used to kick the crap out of Hulk Hogan, probably isn't too bright.

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Where the Helio Has All the $$$ Gone?

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Helio Castroneves has made more than $13 million racing cars and even more on hawking stuff, yet he doesn't have enough money to pay the lawyers defending him in his tax evasion trial.

Helio filed docs asking a judge to delay his trial for a year so he can race next year. According to the docs, he needs the money to pay his legal fees. But what in the name of Michael Vick did this dude blow all that money on? Not only did he make a pile, he even may not have paid his taxes.

Those "Dancing" outfits must have been really really expensive.

UPDATE 1:55 PM ET -- The judge wasn't buying it. The trial is still on for March 2009.

Michael Phelps -- That's Cold, Man!

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Want to distract your friend so you can throw a bucket of ice on them? Have Michael Phelps distract 'em!

The prank went down last week at the Village Idiot Pizza & Pub in Columbia, S.C.

The Italian judge gave this prank a 9.7.

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Pacman's Only Pals Say He Screwed Them, Too

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So everyone knows Pacman Jones is a douchebag. Who even knows (who cares) if he'll play football again.

But he's decided to alienate the last few people who might've taken his side -- his lawyers. They say in a lawsuit he owes them $23K in fees he never paid.

So now it's official. Pacman has no more friends -- even the ones he pays.

Tom B. -- Errand Boy to Water Boy

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They let Tom Brady out of hiding again -- to do someone else's bidding, just not Gisele's.

Appears Tom hobbled over to a SmartWater gig the other night in Boston -- the company is paying him $3 mil to shill their pricey H20. "He looked a little thin," said a Boston Herald spy. "But seemed in good spirits." Well thank G.

Meanwhile, Tommy Boy has also begun his rehab down in Foxboro, "doing everything you have to do at this point," says his teammate Matt Light. Though the Pats are trying to keep the rehab under wraps.

Rowdy Roddy's Got a Hottie -- for a Daughter!

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For a guy who usually wears a kilt, Rowdy Roddy Piper has some pretty damn good genes!

The wrestling legend/ cancer survivor hit L.A. this weekend for a night of clubbing with his daughter, and after seeing Ariel in that outfit, there was only one question that crossed the mind of any potential suitor: Would you take a chance at being put in a Sleeper Hold for a shot with his daughter?

Giambi Whips Out His Main Vein...

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... the one on his arm.

Jason Giambi and his vascular extremities dwarfed his bald buddy, former wrestling superstar Bill Goldberg, during a night out at Wasted Space in Vegas the other night.

Giambi's physique* has never looked better.

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