WWE Superstar CM Punk Gunshot Victim Deserves BACKSTAGE PASSES!

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Getting shot in the face has its perks, particularly if you're a wrestling fan -- just ask Thomas Dotterer, who's being treated like a champ by the WWE just days after some thugs blasted him while robbing his Syracuse liquor store.

The 77-year-old was in critical condition last week after taking a bullet to the eye ... but instead of complaining, he told the media he was more upset about the outcome of the WWE Royal Rumble because his favorite wrestler had lost!!!

"The Rock beat [CM] Punk. Did you know that?"

Word of the tough-as-nails fan got back to the WWE ... and the org. raced to get in touch with the guy.

In fact, we're told Dotterer already got a phone call from CM Punk and was promised ringside seats and a backstage pass the next time the org. comes to Syracuse.

It almost makes getting shot in the face worth it ... almost.

Colorado Rockies Star Busted for DUI

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Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton was arrested for DUI this morning -- and TMZ has the mug shot.

According to the police report, 39-year-old Helton was busted at 2:39 AM on 3 counts of drunk driving just outside of Denver.

Cops say Helton was cooperative.

A rep for the Rockies released a statement saying the MLB superstar "clearly understands the seriousness of his poor decision."

Helton -- a former All-Star -- was once considered one of the best hitters in baseball.

Helton just released a statement saying, "Last evening I exercised poor judgment and was charged with drinking and driving after driving to a gas station near my house. I am very sorry and embarrassed by my actions."

"I hold myself to a high standard and take my responsibility as a public figure very seriously. My entire career I have worked to set a positive example for my family and in our community and I fell far short of this standard."

"I sincerely ask my family, the Colorado Rockies Organization, Major League Baseball and the community to accept my apology. I make no excuses and accept full responsibility for my actions. I humbly ask your forgiveness.”

Kim Kardashian to Judge Help Me Create a New, Full Life

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Kim Kardashian says she wants a divorce because it "will help create a new, full life for me" ... this according to new legal docs.

Kim filed a declaration in her divorce case obtained by TMZ, complaining to the judge that Kris Humphries is not only standing in the way of her happiness, but threatening her health and welfare, and "also ... the health and well-being of my unborn child." We broke the story, her doctor is concerned as well.

Kim scoffs at Kris' claim she defrauded him in the marriage, and says it's actually Kris who is screwing with her life. She says she wants a divorce so she can move on with her life, and "the same should hold true for [Kris].

Kim notes Kanye is eager to sign a Voluntary Declaration of Paternity when their child is born, but he won't be able to if she's still married to Kris.

And Kim is citing some stories claiming Kris is saying he now has "all the power" and that "he is in control of my misery."

Lance Armstrong Target of ANOTHER Federal Investigation

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Lance Armstrong is reportedly the target of a RENEWED federal criminal investigation connected to his rampant drug use during his cycling career ... and could face serious time in the slammer if convicted.

Just weeks after Armstrong fessed up to cheating his ass off on his way to 7 Tour de France titles, ABC News is reporting that feds are actively investigating Armstrong for obstruction, intimidation, and witness tampering.

If Lance is ultimately prosecuted -- and convicted -- a judge could sentence him to federal prison.

Multiple riders -- and other people close to Lance -- have publicly accused Armstrong of threatening them into silence over the years ... but nobody really listened until Lance went to Oprah and copped to being a jerk.

According to the report, investigators are not concerned with Armstrong's drug use so much as they are with Armstrong allegedly threatening and interfering with witnesses who could have testified against him.

It ain't the first time Lance has been investigated by the feds -- Lance was under the microscope from 2010 to 2012 following allegations of drug distribution, fraud and conspiracy -- but the investigation was dropped.

This time, Lance might not get off so easy ...

Kim Kardashian's Doctor Divorce Stress Puts FETUS AT RISK

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Kim Kardashian's doctor thinks Kim's unborn baby may be at risk, because of the stress Kris Humphries is causing by dragging out their divorce ... TMZ has learned.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... several days ago Kim called her doctor in the middle of the night to come to the house because she was having severe pains. The doctor examined her, but then warned he believed the problems were largely stress-related.

Sources say ... the only significant stress in her life right now is the divorce. And hours before her meeting Tuesday with her lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser, Kim's pains returned in full force.

The doctor warned Kim she needs to handle the stress or else there could be "long-term effects." The doctor did not elaborate, but we're told Kim is freaked out her baby may be at risk.

Kim's mom Kris Jenner appeared on "The View" this morning, saying, "Kim has been going through this divorce for months. She has been under a lot of stress because of it and the doctors told her you’ve had a really tough week and the stress could become a problem if she isn't careful."

Allen Iverson Loses Atlanta Mansion in Foreclosure Auction

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Allen Iverson is officially mansionless -- TMZ has learned the former NBA star's Atlanta home has been sold off in a foreclosure auction.

TMZ broke the story ... Iverson allegedly defaulted on a $1.2 million mortgage which sent the $4.5 million home into foreclosure. He briefly fought off an auction ... but ultimately, he couldn't stop it.

Sources close to the sale tell TMZ ... Iverson's bank purchased the mansion yesterday for $2.5 million.

It's been a rough week for Iverson -- on top of losing his mansion, the judge in Iverson's divorce case basically just called him the worst dad in the universe.

Kris Humphries It's Not My Fault Kim's Pregnancy was Unplanned

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Kris Humphries just filed legal docs saying he doesn't understand the urgency for a quick divorce, and he shouldn't have to jump just because Kim Kardashian got accidentally knocked up.

Kris' lawyer, Marshall Waller, says in the docs, "What is really going on here is that an 'urgency' in the form of an apparently unplanned pregnancy, something [Humphries] had nothing to do with, is perceived by [Kim] as an opportunity to gain a litigation advantage by trying to force this court to prematurely set this matter for trial."

And get this ... after the word "pregnancy" there's a footnote that reads, "Indeed, why would [Kim] plan to get pregnant in the midst of divorce proceedings?"

Translation -- Waller thinks Kim is putting a gun to his client's head, which is bizarre because the divorce has dragged on for well over a year for a marriage that lasted 72 days.

Waller says Kim shouldn't worry about the legal presumption that Kris is the father of Kim's kid because she got pregnant while they were still married -- Waller says Kris is happy to stipulate he's not the daddy.

Kris says in the docs he wants to be present for Kim's deposition and has a right to be there, but due to his work schedule he's unavailable until mid-May or June.

We're guessing the judge is going to lose patience at the trial setting conference and set the divorce trial for March.

Rob Gronkowski My Dancing is BAD For My Bones

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It's bad enough Rob Gronkowski could have screwed the Patriots by re-re-injuring his broken arm -- but the real travesty of his Vegas trip ... those insanely awful dance moves.

Check out TMZ on TV -- click here to see your local listings!

Michael Phelps CRYFEST at the Super Bowl

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How do we know Michael Phelps is secure in his manhood? 'Cause he cried in public at the Super Bowl ... WITH HIS MOM ... and TMZ has the pics.

The greatest Olympian of all time -- who happens to be a die-hard Baltimore Ravens fan -- unleashed the waterworks at The Superdome in New Orleans on Sunday ... where he and his mother were cheering on their hometown squad.

The pics were taken right at the end of the game ... as the Ravens wrapped up their victory against the San Francisco 49ers ... and judging from the pics, Michael couldn't quite control his emotions.

Somewhere, Ray Lewis is smiling (and also probably crying).

Lindsey Vonn Airlifted to Hospital After Skiing Accident

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Olympic gold medal skier Lindsey Vonn was airlifted to a hospital in Austria today after a frightening crash during the Alpine World Championships in Schladming.

Vonn lost her balance after landing awkwardly from a jump ... losing her ski and skidding into a gate. Doctors evaluated Vonn for more than ten minutes on the slope before she was loaded on to a helicopter and flown to a nearby hospital.

According to reports, the doctor who examined Vonn says he believes she suffered a tibial plateau fracture -- also known as a break in the shinbone.

Doctors say Vonn also tore her ACL and MCL in her right knee in the crash -- and will require surgery. A rep for the U.S. Ski Team says the squad is hopeful Vonn will return for the 2013-14 season.

Artie Lange The NFL Needs a Gay Jackie Robinson

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Artie Lange says he WASN'T shocked by Chris Culliver's homophobic remarks during his explosive pre-Super Bowl interview with the 49ers player ... 'cause Chris' anti-gay feelings are probably shared by 99% of the NFL.

FYI -- Lange was the man who interviewed Culliver during Super Bowl week ... and is responsible for releasing the footage of Chris saying gay players are NOT welcome in the team's locker room.

"I hope he learns from it," Lange said after he arrived at JFK ... "and I hope I'm responsible for breaking the gay barrier in the NFL."

Lange says he hopes NFL players will become more tolerant of gay players ... but he doesn't think that will happen until an active gay player comes out of the closet.

"I think unfortunately what Culliver said reflects what 99 % of the league thinks," Lange says.

"What's gonna have to happen is a real star player ... a Jackie Robinson type ... a real star player is gonna have to come out WHILE HE'S PLAYING ... and other people will follow."

As for Culliver, the 49ers have announced he'll undergo sensitivity training with an LGBT organization.

Katherine Webb The Million Dollar PLAYBOY Question

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It's the question millions of gentlemen ... and Brent Musburger ... have been dying to know -- WILL KATHERINE WEBB TAKE IT OFF FOR PLAYBOY?!?!??

Miss Alabama USA -- more famously known as AJ McCarron's super hot GF -- arrived at LAX yesterday when one of the photogs finally posed the question ... and her answer is interesting.

It's clear the decision to do it would upset some very important people in her life ... but IF they were ever to come around, you think she would too?

Guess we'll have to wait and see.

Tony Parker to Court I Told You Chris Brown Was a Violent Thug

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Chris Brown's volcanic temper -- in particular his recent blowup with Frank Ocean -- has ironically become NBA star Tony Parker's secret weapon in a lawsuit against a New York City nightclub ... TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story ... Parker has filed a $20 million lawsuit against W.i.P. nightclub, claiming it should never have let Brown in last June -- the night his posse fought with Drake's people ... a fight that ended with a shard of glass piercing Tony's cornea.

Tony has just filed new legal docs in his lawsuit, claiming Chris Brown's parking-spot fiasco last week with Frank Ocean is proof he's unfit to socialize in places where he's likely to fly off the handle.

You'll recall ... the fight between team Brown and team Drake at W.i.P. erupted because both men were romantically linked to Rihanna.

And speaking of Rihanna ... Tony's new legal docs make reference to her brutal beating ... at the hands of one Chris Brown.

Tony believes there was more than enough evidence on the table to deny Chris a table at W.i.P. on the violent night in question.

Rob Gronkowski VEGAS WRESTLING with Broken Forearm

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Rob Gronkowski scared the hell out of New England Patriots fans last night ... when the superstar tight end BODY SLAMMED his friend on stage at a Las Vegas nightclub ... landing hard on his broken forearm ... and TMZ has the footage.

Gronkowski -- who signed a $54 million six-year contract extension in June -- broke his forearm last season, then injured it again during the Pats' first playoff game against the Texans.

But that didn't stop him from executing a Stone Cold Stunner-esque move on a friend during a playful dance battle at XS nightclub last night.

As Gronkowski was throwing his friend to the ground, the tight end -- who was wearing a protective sleeve on his busted wing -- also crashed to the ground and smacked his damaged arm on the stage in the process.

Gronk popped right up and waved his arms around -- a sign that he didn't reinjure anything during the stunt -- but seriously, HOW DUMB WAS THAT?

In fact, we gotta ask ...

Eric Dickerson Strahan Was ROBBED! H.O.F. Voters Are a Joke

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Ex-NFL superstar Eric Dickerson is calling out the Hall of Fame voters as a bunch of non-football-playing posers ... after they passed over Michael Strahan for the honor this year.

Dickerson was in New Orleans when he ripped the sportswriters who vote on the H.O.F. ... telling us, "I think they're biased in a lot of ways. They don't like certain guys ... Them sportswriters don't even know how to put uniforms on, most of 'em."

E.D., who was voted into the Hall in 1999, said he wasn't sure why voters snubbed Strahan, and thinks the Giants great will get in eventually -- but he's still not convinced writers are fit to judge legends of the game.

"Has a sportswriter ever lined up against Michael Strahan? Has a sportswriter ever lined up across from me? No, I wish one would, 'cause I could run over their asses."

Hmm ... sportswriters vs. players? Beats the Pro Bowl.

Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders Super Hot and Ready to Party

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Here's video of the smokin' hot ... super flexible ... Baltimore Ravens Cheerleaders on their way to party their faces off last night ... while wearing really short skirts. You're welcome.

Right after the Ravens trampled the 49ers and took home a Super Bowl championship ... the scantily-clad girls arrived at the Hilton Hotel for a post-game celebration ... and everyone with eyes was grateful.

And to prove we're not sexist, we also talked with the 1 male cheerleader ... which was also fun.

As for the chicks, they talked about some stuff ... but really ... that's not what this is about.