A-Rod Sues MLB They Paid to Frame Me! [Update: MLB Rips A-Rod]

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9:05 AM PT -- MLB is lashing out against Alex's lawsuit -- calling it "nothing more than a desperate attempt to circumvent the Collective Bargaining Agreement."

MLB adds, "While we vehemently deny the allegations in the complaint, none of those allegations is relevant to the real issue: whether Mr. Rodriguez violated the Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program by using and possessing numerous forms of prohibited performance-enhancing substances, including Testosterone and human Growth Hormone, over the course of multiple years and whether he violated the Basic Agreement by attempting to cover-up his violations of the Program by engaging in a course of conduct intended to obstruct and frustrate the Office of the Commissioner's investigation.”

A-Rod has come out swinging by filing a lawsuit against Bud Selig and MLB, claiming they paid off the star witness against the Yankee slugger ... paid him millions of dollars to help force A-Rod out of baseball.

The suit claims Selig and MLB paid $5 million to Anthony Bosch, head of the Biogenesis Clinic -- the place A-Rod allegedly went to in order to obtain undetectable steroids.

The upshot -- A-Rod believes the testimony is tainted by the hefty price tag.

The suit claims A-Rod has been unfairly targeted for a 211-game suspension -- which A-Rod's lawyer claims is a witch hunt.

The suit claims Selig and MLB interfered with A-Rod's contracts and business relationships.

Sources connected with A-Rod tell TMZ he's been tested for performance enhancing drugs 11 times since 2011 and they've come up clean every time.

Hulk Hogan MAN THONGIN' In Miley Cyrus Spoof Video

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Whatcha' gonna do, brother -- when Hulk Hogan puts his 60-year old ass into a THONG and rides a wrecking ball around like Miley Cyrus?!!

You're probably gonna watch the video. We did.

Now for the back story: Hulk's a partner in a new web hosting company called Hostamania (which is trying to compete with Go Daddy) ... and he wanted to do something big to draw attention to the biz.

Naturally, the wrestler decided the only logical move was to strip down to a G string and wiggle around his evenly-tanned butt cheeks on video.

Your move, Ultimate Warrior ...

NFL Star Donte Whitner Gotta Pay NIKE Before He Can Change Jersey to 'Hitner'

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Before 49ers safety Donte Whitner can officially sport a "Hitner" jersey on the field, he's REQUIRED to get Nike's blessing ... and it could cost the player a ton of money.

By now you know, Whitner's vowed to legally change his name to Hitner after the NFL fined him $21k for an illegal hit on a St. Louis Rams player earlier this season.

But it's not gonna happen for AT LEAST another month, because the NFL requires players to legally change their name before they can change their jersey. And in Donte's home state of Ohio ... an applicant has to publish a notice of the name change in a widely circulated publication at least 30 days before a judge will even consider signing off on the move.

Court officials in Ohio tell us the process usually takes AT LEAST six weeks from start to finish.

Then, there's the Nike factor -- an NFL rep tells TMZ before the league will allow a player to change the name on his jersey, he has to purchase any remaining Nike inventory featuring his old name.

But whatever the cost, Donte can probably afford it -- he's reportedly raking in $3.8 million this season.

So, if all goes according to plan, you could see a Hitner jersey on Nov. 17 ... when the 49ers play the Saints.

Stay tuned ...

Olympic Hurdler Lashinda Demus My Husband Strangled Me, Threatened to Kill Me

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Olympic hurdler Lashinda Demus -- who won a silver medal at the 2012 Olympics -- says her husband tried to strangle her and threatened to kill her ... and she's now desperate for protection ... TMZ has learned.

Demus just got a temporary restraining order against her husband, Jamel Mayrant -- who was arrested and jailed a couple of weeks ago for domestic violence. She claims the attack left her with bruises and a lump on her head.

The restraining order also protects their twin 6-year-old boys and her parents -- because she claims he threatened all of them as well.

Demus also claims her husband is trashing her and damaging her career, saying in court docs, "I'm a professional athlete ... so I need no derogatory emails, pictures, texts, phone calls released about me on the web or to other people."

The restraining order requires Jamel to stay 100 yards away from Lashinda, the kids and her parents.

Shaquille O'Neal Chokes Out Tow Man 'You Put a Boot On My F***ing Car!'

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Shaquille O'Neil got one of those dreaded parking boots on his truck -- and all he had to do to get it removed for free was choke out the dude who did the the booting ... TMZ has learned.

Ok, Shaq was playfully strangling Spence Beck of ABS Booting in the video he posted on Instagram Tuesday night -- but it was all the boot man's idea.

Spence tells us a few hours after he slapped the device on Shaq's ride outside an Atlanta restaurant (someone forgot to feed the meter) ... he got a call, and instantly recognized the Diesel's voice.

According to Spence, Shaq played his cop card, saying ... “I’m a U.S. Marshal, I need you to remove this boot."

If you didn't know ... Shaq really was deputized back in 2005 when he helped feds track down sexual predators -- and that was good enough for Spence.

Spence says he told Shaq he'd waive the $75 fine in exchange for a co-starring role in one of Shaq's Instagram vids.

Sweet deal for Shaq ... though we're guessing the boot man's neck wasn't thrilled.

David Beckham Too Soft for Undies Ad (Said Delusional People)

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David Beckham in his underwear used to send our newsroom into a frenzy -- but something's happened to him since retiring from soccer, and the proof is in his ... nipples.

Don't get us wrong. We'd still do him.

Terrell Suggs I Hate Tom Brady ... And His Stupid Hair!!

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Baltimore Ravens badass Terrell Suggs ripped Tom Brady apart ... trashing the QB for his smug attitude, his god-like status … and worst of all, HIS HAIR!!!

Suggs spit the venom during an interview with ESPN's "E:60" when Lisa Salters asked T-Sizzle how he truly felt about the Pats superstar. T's response:

“I don’t think it’s appropriate for camera. I don’t like him. He don’t like me. I don’t like his hair.”

Suggs continued, “I don’t like his smug attitude. But then again he probably doesn’t like my a**hole attitude. Everybody just seems to worship the guy, not me though.”

Suggs will have a chance to tell Brady how he feels about him in person on Dec. 22 – when the Ravens take on the Pats.

Still, we gotta ask …

NBA 2K14 Honchos 'Bron's Bald In Our Game ... 'Cause He's Bald In Real Life!

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The people behind the video game NBA 2K14 tell TMZ ... they weren't trying to be haters when they receded LeBron James' hairline on his digital avatar -- they're just keepin' it real.

In case you haven't seen the images, 2K14 LeBron is WAYYYYY balder than 2K13 LeBron ... and conspiracy theorists are suggesting the designers are anti-LBJ fans who were just trying to troll the guy.

But we spoke with a rep for the company behind the game ... who tells us the digital art is simply imitating real life -- "We strive for current realism with all our players."

LeBron now joins the ranks of other legendary bald video characters ... including King Hippo, Dhalsim, the guy from Hitman, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man and Kirby.

Congrats.

Ex-NFL Star Ricky Watters RESIGNS as High School FB Coach After Investigation

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Ex-NFL running back Ricky Watters -- a 5-time Pro Bowler -- has resigned from his job as a high school football coach in Orlando, FL in the wake of a school investigation into the former Super Bowl champ.

Watters had been on paid leave at Oak Ridge High School since September 20 ... when the Orange County Public School district launched a private investigation -- the details of which have not been released by the district.

But today, Watters announced his resignation from the job -- telling WESH he was getting sick of the drama.

"There was a complaint that I used profanity on the sidelines,” Watters said ... adding, "[the investigation] was just going on and on. I think it’s just best we clear it."

Calls to school officials have not been returned.

Story developing ...

Lakers' Pau Gasol I Hope Lamar Returns to the NBA

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L.A. Lakers center, Pau Gasol, is optimistic that Lamar Odom -- his friend and former teammate -- will make a triumphant return to the NBA ... but admits he's still in the dark about what's going on in Lamar's life.

All 7-feet of Pau hit up Katsuya in Hollywood last night ... where he told us he hasn't had any contact with Lamar since he began his crack-fueled downward spiral ... but he still thinks Lamar can come back.

"The main thing is that he's healthy and happy," Gasol told us ... but he also knows what it's gonna take for Lamar -- or any pro-baller -- to be competitive in the NBA.

"In my profession," he said, "if you don't train hard, you get off the train."

Johnny Manziel RIPPED BY NFL LEGEND 'He's the Next Tim Tebow'

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He might have a Heisman Trophy on his mantle, but Johnny Manziel is going to make a TERRIBLE pro quarterback ... a la Tim Tebow ... so says ex-NFL stud Jamal Lewis.

Lewis is in a position to judge, he was a beast during his NFL career -- helping the Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl his rookie year, rushing for 2,066 yards in 2003 (3rd-most of all-time), and breaking the single game rushing record that season with 295 yards.

So, when Lewis was at LAX this weekend, we had to get his opinion on Johnny Football ... who's strongly hinted he plans to go pro after he finishes his sophomore year at Texas A&M.

J.L. couldn't have been more clear -- Manziel will be a disaster in the pros.

Still, we gotta ask ...

Houston Texans Please Stop Burning Matt Schaub Jerseys

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The Houston Texans are taking steps to stop more fans from lighting their Matt Schaub jerseys on fire outside of their stadium -- but it ain't to protect the QB's feelings.

TMZ spoke with a member of the Texans organization who tells us ... the team decided it needed to take action after watching a viral YouTube video which featured a bunch of fans flaming up a #8 jersey in the stadium parking lot after the team lost to the Seahawks last weekend.

We're told the team is making a concerted effort to "do a better job monitoring the people who tailgate" because jersey fires are a direct violation of the stadium's open flame policy.

The team should also do a better job monitoring Schaub ... 'cause if he didn't throw so many damn pick 6s (3 in the last 3 games), they probably wouldn't have had this problem to begin with.

NFL Star Nate Burleson I Wasn't Drunk, Disoriented ... But I Did Drop the Pizza

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Detroit Lions star Nate Burleson tells TMZ ... the 911 caller was mistaken -- he wasn't woozy, or off-balanced or DRUNK in the moments following his car crash last week ... but he did fumble his pizza.

Nate says he was in shock in the moments following the wreck, in which he suffered a broken arm and cuts on his face after a night at Happy's Pizza and Pub in Detroit -- but the 32-year-old explains, "I was completely coherent. I was trying to grasp what was going on at the moment."

As we previously reported, one of the people who called 911 following the crash last Monday night told the operator Nate "was losing his balance" and "appeared to be intoxicated."

But Nate tells TMZ, "My arm was broken so that may cause you to stumble, but it was not alcohol-related at all."

In fact, Nate says the cops complimented him on how composed he was following the crash -- considering his injuries.

As for the pizza, Nate admits he tried to save the pie as it slid around on the front seat of his GMC Yukon ... but the food slipped through his fingers ... and that's when he lost control of the ride and crashed.

We obtained photos of the pizza carnage following the wreck ... showing the deep dish pepperoni (with mushrooms) all over Nate's whip.

"I get the jokes, 'cause reaching for a pizza isn't the way you wanna crash your car," Nate says ... "But I'm lucky to have walked away."

Michael Jordan I'd Destroy LeBron in 1-on-1 ... But Not Kobe

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Michael Jordan says there's only one guy who would beat him in a game of 1-on-1 ... and it ain't LeBron James -- it's Kobe Bryant.

MJ made the statement in a video promoting the NBA 2K14 -- while talking about a bunch of NBA legends he would've liked to ball against in their prime, including Jerry West, D-Wade, Carmelo, Kobe, LeBron and more.

"I don't think I would lose," Jordan says ... adding, "other than to Kobe Bryant because he steals all of my moves."

MJ was later asked who was the better player -- Kobe or LBJ -- and explained, "In terms of dominance in the game of basketball at this stage, it's LeBron."

But he added, "Championshipwise, it's Kobe."

Lions' Nate Burleson 911 Call Witness: I'd Guess He's Drunk

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Moments after Nate Burleson smashed his SUV into a median -- a witness called 911 and said, "He was losing his balance" ... and that he believed the Detroit Lions star appeared to be intoxicated.

Burleson wrecked last Monday night, and police have said they do not believe alcohol or drugs were a factor -- but on this 911 tape you clearly hear the caller say, "He looks a little messed up. He's walking around, but if I had my guess I'd say he's drunk."

Nate told police he lost control while reaching for a pizza box that was falling off his front seat.

TMZ spoke to a witness at the pub and pizza spot where Burleson had been hanging out that night who told us he had a couple of beers.

However, when we spoke to the manager at the bar ... he told us Nate had "maybe one drink" in the 4 hours he was there.

Lane Kiffin $500k Housing Mystery After USC Firing

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USC didn't just take Lane Kiffin's dignity, the university might also be in a position to take his house ... TMZ has learned.

We broke the story ... after Lane accepted the head coaching job at the University of Southern California in 2010, the school agreed to loan him $500k to use toward the purchase of a $5.5 million mansion in Manhattan Beach, CA.

But there was a catch ... under the terms of the deal, if Lane got fired or quit during the life of the loan, USC could demand the $500k back, plus interest STAT ... and if he didn't pay up, SC could foreclose.

SC didn't disclose the length of the $500k note in official records ... and it's unclear if it's been forgiven.

However, these types of deals are usually made by an employer to keep an employee from bolting for greener pastures (like Lane's been known to do) ... and it's common for the term of the loan to be AT LEAST as long as the employment contract.

So, the question ... did Kiffin outlive the term of his $500k loan from SC, or is he still on the hook for the money?

We reached out to both SC and Kiffin for comment -- so far, no word back from anyone.