Kim & Kris We're Not Breaking Up!

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Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are NOT on the verge of a split ... not even close ... despite several screaming magazine covers and websites SWEARING they're headed for divorce.

In fact, TMZ has learned the newest story making the rounds -- about Kris supposedly getting booted out of their NYC pad -- is just another steaming pile of BS.

Multiple sources who are extremely close to the couple tell us they were simply getting some boxes together for the newlyweds' big move back to L.A. ... together.

The couple had been living out of NYC's swagtastic Gansevoort Hotel for a couple months while Kim shot her new reality show "Kim and Kourtney Take New York" -- and yesterday, it was finally time to move out.

As for Kris' lack of wedding ring -- we're told the guy just isn't a fan of jewelry.

2011 NBA MVP Derrick Rose Passenger in DUI Arrest

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Chicago Bulls superstar Derrick Rose strolled out of an LAPD station at 3:00 AM today ... after his BFF was arrested for DUI ... and Derrick was a passenger in the car.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ .... the 2011 NBA MVP was a passenger in a black BMW being driven by his close friend and personal assistant Randall Hampton ... when cops stopped the car on a routine traffic violation at around 2:00 AM Friday morning.

When cops spoke to Hampton -- who played high school basketball with Rose -- officers claim they detected the odor of alcohol.

Hampton was given a field sobriety test ... and was eventually arrested on suspicion of DUI. Rose was free to go.

Hampton was hauled to the Hollywood police station, where he was booked. Rose arrived to the station shortly after to check on his friend.

TMZ shot footage of Rose leaving the police station by himself at 3:00 AM ... but he clearly wasn't in the mood to talk.

Hampton has just been released on his own recognizance.

We called Rose's agent to ask why he would allow an allegedly drunk person to drive him around -- but so far no comment.

Wrestling Legend Scott Hall Tragic Twist After Documentary's Happy Ending

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WWE legend Scott Hall's emotional reunion with his estranged son at the end of ESPN's documentary about the wrestler was short-lived -- sources tell TMZ, Scott's drug problems have once again forced the two apart.

In case you missed it, ESPN aired a heartfelt documentary about Scott Hall last night -- chronicling the wrestler's drug-fueled fall from grace -- in which Scott and his son Cody poignantly reunited after not speaking for years.

The documentary ended on a promising note (below) -- with the father-son duo working together to launch Cody's wrestling career.

But Scott's ex-wife Dana tells TMZ, the reunion in May barely lasted a month -- and once again, the two are no longer on speaking terms.

We're told Cody gave up on his dad due to "constant verbal abuse from Scott while he was binging" -- and he soon moved back home with his mom.

Dana tells us, Cody simply felt it was "too hard seeing his dad in that kind of state." We're told Cody has no current plans to continue wrestling. Scott's rep had no comment.

Falcons Defensive End The Right to Bare Chest

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Cam Newton should consider himself lucky ... 'cause the Carolina Panthers QB was wrapped up by a REAL-LIFE MODEL last weekend ... when Atlanta Falcons stud Ray Edwards sacked his ass.

Edwards has become the latest pro athlete to strip down for a skin-baring photo session ... all for an upcoming, fully waxed 2012 calendar.

Sources tell TMZ, Edwards hasn't completely decided if he wants to pursue a modeling career -- so he took these photos to "test the waters."

If the calendar sells, Edwards says he'll think more seriously about a career change -- although it's not like he needs the money ... dude just signed a 6-year $30 million contract.

Lenny Dykstra Cops Grand Theft Auto Plea

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Former MLB great Lenny Dykstra struck a deal in his mega-criminal case, by pleading no contest to 3 counts of felony grand theft auto, and one count of submitting false statements to a financial institution.

Dykstra is charged with 25 crimes, but under the plea deal, 21 will be dismissed.

Dykstra will be sentenced on January 20. He faces a maximum of 4 years in state prison.

Dykstra is accused of leasing luxury cars from an L.A. dealership with fraudulent paperwork. There were also drug charges filed.

He's been released on his own recognizance until his sentencing.

MJ's 13-Year-old Daughter RECRUITED by Lingerie Football League

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Michael Jackson's 13-year-old football playing daughter is being recruited to be the face of an organization that swears it's helping break down barriers for women ... problem is, it's the Lingerie Football League.

TMZ has learned ... the LFL took notice when Paris Jackson became the first female in her L.A. private school to join the flag football team earlier this month ... and fired off a letter to the MJ Estate in the hopes PJ would be the spokesperson for the league's "youth program."

In the letter, obtained by TMZ, LFL Commissioner Mitchell S. Mortaza acknowledges a "lack of options for competitive female football" ... and says the league will "be introducing youth clinics across the country to introduce the game of football to young ladies at an earlier stage in life."

Mortaza adds, "We ... would like to invite Paris to become the spokesperson for the LFL's youth program and perhaps start training for a future football career in the LFL when she reaches the age of 18."

LFL officials tell us no one in the youth program will wear lingerie.

Mitchell makes a good point about the lack of football options for girls, but is a league that parades adult women around in their underwear really the right fit for mentoring KIDS????

We gotta ask ...

Paris Jackson: Girls Can Play Football Too ... and I'll Prove It!

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Michael Jackson's only daughter wants to be a football star -- and TMZ has learned, she's joined her school's pigskin squad to prove girls CAN dominate on the gridiron.

Sure, it's only flag football ... but 13-year-old Paris Jackson has become the VERY FIRST female in the history of her exclusive L.A. private school to join the team. Pretty bad ass.

Her father would be proud ... don't forget MJ performed that LEGENDARY halftime show at Super Bowl XXVII back in 1993.

Frank & Jamie McCourt Strike Divorce Settlement, Dodgers Still in Limbo

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Frank and Jamie McCourt have reached a divorce settlement which will secure Jamie as a very rich woman, but at a price ... she's relinquishing all claims to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Under the settlement, which must still be approved by the judge, Jamie will snag $130 million ... this according to a report. The judge rejected an earlier settlement proposal, partly because of an unorthodox TV deal that fronted money to Frank. The TV deal is not part of this settlement.

So on the surface -- when it comes to the Dodgers -- it's a big victory for Frank. But insiders say far from a victory, Frank is probably going to lose the team, because at the end of the month a bankruptcy judge will decide if the Dodgers will go on the auction block.

Insiders think the judge will force the sale -- which should produce anywhere from $700 million to a billion bucks for the team.

12:17 PM: Frank and Jamie just released a joint statement ... Jamie will no longer stand between Frank and his TV deal -- claiming, "Jamie will be withdrawing her opposition to the Dodgers proposed sale of media rights and instead will be filing papers in support of the process."

IndyCar Driver Dan Wheldon Dies After Massive Wreck

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IndyCar Driver Dan Wheldon died in Las Vegas today after his car crashed during a massive 15-car accident during the Las Vegas Indy 300.

Wheldon's car went airborne after hitting another car during Lap 12, then apparently caught part of the catch fence just outside of Turn 2.

IndyCar CEO Randy Bernard announced Wheldon's passing, saying, "IndyCar is very sad to announce that Dan Wheldon has passed away from unsurvivable injuries. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family today."

Wheldon won the Indianapolis 500 in 2005 and 2011.

He was 33.

Dan Wheldon's Sponsor It's a 'Sad, Sad Day'

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A rep for GoDaddy.com, one of Dan Wheldon's sponsors, sent TMZ this statement on behalf of their CEO and founder, Bob Parsons:

"Our thoughts and prayers go out to Dan Wheldon's family and friends on this sad, sad day. All of us in the IndyCar family feel an unexplainable sense of loss. Not just for the sport, but for all who knew Dan Wheldon. Dan was a family man, a father, a husband, a son and a brother. The two-time Indianapolis 500 winner was also a competitor and a colleague ... our deepest condolences go out to all who knew Dan."

Wheldon died today during a race in Las Vegas. He was 33.

Manny Ramirez Righting a Wrong ... On His Marriage Certificate

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Before Manny Ramirez allegedly slapped his wife in the face, Manny was taking the time out to correct something on his marriage certificate ... his middle name.

According to docs filed in Broward County in August, Manny requested to change his name on his marriage certificate -- from Manuel Fernando Ramirez to Manuel A. Ramirez. According to Wikipedia, the A stands for Arístides.

The initial filing was done just a few weeks before Manny was arrested for domestic violence. A hearing on the change has now been scheduled for next week.

It leaves one to wonder ... once the marriage certificate is in order, might his wife follow up with divorce papers?

Oscar De La Hoya I Have Been Re-Born!

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Oscar De La Hoya has been as open and forthcoming about his trip to rehab as anyone -- and last night in Hollywood, the boxing legend told us how important opening up about his problems has been to him.

De La Hoya was out at Ripley's Believe It or Not! to support his friend/business partner, Bernard Hopkins, who is fighting tonight at Staples Center in Los Angeles.

Oscar has admitted cheating on his wife during his dark days -- but if you watch the video carefully, you'll see a hint about whether or not they are still together.

Manny Pacquiao Sued By Accountants We SAVED Him from Getting KO'd

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Manny Pacquiao's former accountants claim they've discovered the boxer's BIGGEST WEAKNESS ... he sucks at paying his taxes ... this according to a new lawsuit obtained by TMZ.

The number crunchers claim they were called in to save PacMan's ass last year ... because, according to the suit, Manny's tax issues "seriously affected [his] ability to fight."

The accountants claim they straightened out his money problems -- and even let Pacquiao borrow some cash -- but Manny never paid the them back and totally ignored the bill.

Now the pencil pushers are suing for their jack -- $649,016.95.

Calls to Manny's people have not been returned.

Ex-Dodger Milton Bradley He Threatened to KILL ME ... Wife Alleges

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Former Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley is a violent ticking time bomb ... who told his wife he was going to shoot her to death last month ... this according to court docs obtained by TMZ.

Monique Bradley has filed a request for a restraining order against the baseball player -- after a heated argument at their L.A. home on September 27 in which he allegedly picked up a photo of a gun and told her, "This is the gun that I'm going to kill you with."

Monique claims Bradley also threatened her with a baseball bat during the incident. ... and cussed her out ... calling her a "dumb b**ch" and saying she was "fat, ugly and lazy."

'Real Housewives' The Delusional Wedding Invitation

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"Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Kim Zolciak somehow thinks her wedding could rival Kim Kardashian's -- because she just mailed out the most paranoid wedding invitations ever ... BANNING guests from bringing cameras to the ceremony.

TMZ obtained a copy of the invite -- which expressly prohibits the use of cell phones, cameras, or other recording devices while she ties the knot with Atlanta Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann next month.

Kim even warns guests ... they'll have to sign a release if they want to attend the wedding -- because the entire event will be filmed as part of her new spin-off show (yet to be confirmed by Bravo).

According to the invite, the wedding takes place on 11/11/11. Advice to wedding guests: go see "Immortals" instead.

Muhammad Ali Sues My Old Kentucky Home ... SUCKS!

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Muhammad Ali is ready for another big fight ... because he's suing a married couple that sold him a home that even Ty Pennington couldn't fix.

Ali and his wife, Yolanda, claim they bought the Louisville mansion back in 2006, and almost immediately discovered an array of ghastly problems, including a leaky roof, leaky chimney, mold, and structurally defective decking.

Ali and Yolanda say the unkindest cut of all is that the sellers knew the problems existed and then set out to deceive the greatest fighter of all time.

Ali and Yolanda are suing for unspecified damages.